I’m
sitting in the cozy corner at Starbucks to write out this entry. It is 10:30 PM
here, but only 2:30 in the States. I realized I haven’t blogged or journaled in
over two weeks, and so much has happened that I’m afraid I won’t remember if I
don’t write it down. Because I’m horrible at keeping a personal journal, I’m
going to try to blend the two into this post, so forgive me if I get
long-winded. That said, I’d like to focus only on certain moments that I think
are worth sharing and remembering. Presently, I have a quarter sized blister on
each of my heels, so walking often feels like swimming in razor blades. This is
an excuse for new boot shopping, yes? Yes. Will tend to that later.
I’ll begin with my interactions with
the Russian students thus far - I am beginning to realize the differences and
similarities between us. They did not live through the Soviet Union, as their parents (and our teachers) did. They don’t seem to fully understand the older generations, and just from the aesthetic look between the two, they don’t seem to have anything in common. The younger generation here is very hip and trendy, and seem to be friendly and wanting to talk to us. While some people seem cold to the American tourists, many places are pampering us, giving us free food, and trying to create a warm environment. However, it is apparent that the topics of race and sexual orientation are still very much the subject of jokes here in Moscow. I see hardly any black people, and being gay is still dangerous. Ask me personally, and I’ll be glad to elaborate on what I've heard and seen around the city -- nothing frightening yet, knock on wood, but certainly different from what we’re used to in the States.
Classes. Classes are crazy. I’m surprising myself everyday, which is...surprising. A week ago, I couldn’t get myself off the ground in our shoulder stand for movement. This week, I got my feet off the floor. I’m not in the air yet, but I’m no longer looking like a hairball rolling around on my yoga mat. I’m learning to love the feeling of my thighs being sliced open by a meat cleaver. Stretching is easier and I’m doing stretches and lifts that I didn’t think I could do. Lifting people into the air with my legs, arm twists, and hamstring stretches. I hope to continue forward. I’m learning that I should not aim for large leaps or huge growth immediately, but if I can keep taking little steps forward, that is an achievement. Maybe next week I can extend my legs in the shoulder stand. We are learning new ways in which our bodies move, and getting ourselves acclimated to that movement. We were doing an exercise where we sit on the floor, legs extended and arms straight up in the air. Our teacher, Vlad, [a jolly but tough Russian man with red hair and a potbelly] commanded us in his heavy voice “SMILE!” as we held the position. He came around and adjusted our stretch. I felt him pull my arms up even higher and straighter, while his knee pushed up my back into an even more rigid line. “AHH!” he exclaimed while my face looked like I had just sucked on a lemon. He spoke while the translator told me what he was saying: “Zach, this is your line of beauty. Why are you not using it?”
In acting, we prepare etudes for every class (so, six a week). We are working on being present in every moment, being influenced by our given circumstance and atmosphere, and really reacting to what is happening. My stage combat teacher, Slav, told me that I was not working with my partner. “Don’t rush,” he said. “You have someone in front of you that you must deal with. You’re working by yourself, and that is not interesting.” We were warming up one day, and Slav looked me square in the eye and simply said “More. Active.” This little phrase was had such an impact on me. We have been working towards living organically and experiencing something in the specifics of the given circumstances and environment. How do we deal with what is in front of us, and not show the audience what we are doing? How do we BE onstage, and actually experience something instead of showing the audience how we feel about it, commenting on it? We were all to be animals for one exercise, and our teacher Sergey stressed the importance of having the animals eyes. He wanted us to not only be the animal, but a specific animal with a personality. I was a gorilla. He wanted to see not only how gorillas move, but how this specific gorilla moved. What made me different from all the other gorillas? Lights up, and there should be a gorilla on stage, not Zach playing a gorilla. Here, actors are not interested in showing or telling, but being. If something happens, you are reacting as the gorilla would act because you ARE the gorilla.
Today, we were to bring in an etude that will help us with diving into Three Sisters, the play we are focusing on this semester. The circumstances of the etude were as follows: it’s someone’s St. Day (or birthday), and it is the year anniversary of our father’s death. These are the same givens as the first scene in Three Sisters. We created a piece set in modern day, where we threw a surprise party for a sibling, and it ended with a full fledged re-staging of Defying Gravity from Wicked as a means of celebration. There were paper towel capes, fork brooms, and a crown hat. The combustion of celebration out of a year of sadness was infectious, and reminded us of the joy dad brought to all of our lives. This had nothing to do with the story line of Three Sisters, but the joy and celebration we found can be used to fill the text of the first scene of the play. Needless to say, Acting class is always a surprise. Yesterday, the power went off during our etude, but the class didn’t stop. Our teacher asked everyone to take out their phones and turn on the flashlight setting. We finished the scene lit by the rest of the class holding up their phones. It was inspiring.
The mentality of the Russian theatre majors here is incredible. One of my new Russian friends wants to be a director. She is a producing student currently. She said that maybe in the future she will go to school for directing, but she is glad that she is getting a first education, because she thinks knowing the classic Russian literature is important. When her friend said that she would like to be a director but didn’t have the talent, my friend replied “I don’t think I have the talent either, but I’m still going to try.” This made an impression on me. Another student, outside of MXAT, saw someone doing a performance piece on the roof of the theatre. The first thing she said to me was “What does he want?” This mentality struck me - she didn’t ask what he was doing, or why he was up there, but “What does he want?”
This week I learned something very valuable. I often feel that if I’m not working long hours on something, than I am not doing enough work. I am not working hard enough, or long enough of tough enough. If I’m not stressing and laboring doing hard work, then I’m not working. This, I have learned to be untrue. It’s not how long you work, it’s not how hard you work, but it’s how smartly you work. Spending five hours on a project may be necessary to iron out specific details, but in working individually, if time is used effectively and smartly, and I’m putting my energy and focus in the right places, it doesn’t matter how long or short I am working. Time is no longer a factor, it’s how that time is spent. Five hours or five minutes, as long as it’s the most efficient use of that time possible. I want to really try to implement this in the coming weeks. Hopefully I can, and am not just philosophizing.
We are continuing to be exposed to many different kinds of theatre, some of which I’ve enjoyed, and some I’ve really disagreed with. A show we saw last night (still in the development phase) was a reading of one man’s memoir about his wife’s cancer. The director didn’t want the actors to play characters, but rather read directly from the memoir and influence the writing with their own point of view. The reading was four hours, and really rubbed me the wrong way. It was very heady and didn’t cut to the core of the story or the characters in it. I got lost and eventually stopped paying attention. It was not theatrical, and I believe they have a lot of work to do if they want to make what is essentially an audio book a theatrical event for a room full of people.
Earlier this week, I sat down at a table in the cafeteria that had someone else’s book bag. I figured if it was a stranger’s, I would move if they wanted me too. An older lady walked to the table, and sat down. She motioned for me to stay when I was about to give her the table back. We began talking, not understanding a word the other was saying. I was able to introduce myself in my poor Russian (although ordering in the cafeteria is getting easier, and I feel less like an idiot), and learned that her name was Anna. Then she asked if I spoke French. I don’t. She seemed to understad my English, but only responded in French or Russian. She looked at me several times when we were not really able to understand each other and said “it’s interesting,” the only English phrase she spoke. I was able to make out from her words and our quasi-conversation that she was a guest teacher from the LeCoque school in Paris, and was teaching at MXT for a couple months. We finished our lunch together, with the help of some of my peers translating her French. She tried to teach me some words, and we were both excited when we knew the same vocabulary. She wished us a good trip, then went about her day.
We learned this week that November 11th is the 70th anniversary of the Moscow Art Theatre School. In celebration, the theatre is hosting a gala event. The American students have been asked to perform a song. This means that our group will be performing on the mainstage of Moscow Art Theatre in a jubilee that will be televised to the entirety of Russia. Gulp. More of that to come...
We had stage design class earlier this week with the lighting designer of the Bolshoi Ballet (Seeing Swan Lake there didn’t happen, since my laundry cycle messed up half way through...stupid...luckily we saw another production of Swan Lake at the Stanislavsky Opera and Ballet Center). She told us of a video mapping show that was being performed on the facade of the Bolshoi that evening. We went to the spectacle and had a wonderful time watching the front of that massive building be transformed into islands, train stations, and starry skies. Also, I made it to the Krispy Kreme last night. It was magical, and tasted just like it does at home :)
Now, I guess I should talk a little about St. Petersburg. We went last weekend. We toured the Hermitage and the Winter Palace of Catherine the Great. Later, we travelled to the Tsar’s Village in the town of Puskin to see Pavlovsk and the Palace of Elizabeth I and Catherine the Great. It was absolutely stunning. I’ll try to post some pictures below. We travelled on an overnight train there, and on a high velocity train back. Is it ironic/cruel that I read Three Sisters on the train ride back to Moscow? Hopefully I won’t be punished too badly for that...
Impressions of St. Pete - It is a beautiful open city. Many more colors than Moscow. The people I did not find to be friendly. I got looks and frustrations from wait staff and security guards. Oh well. Aesthetically the city is gorgeous. Maybe it was because we saw leaves. Maybe it was because the sun was out. That is a rarity here. I didn’t realize how much my mood was affected by the sun. I’m always happier when the sun shines. I’m nostalgic for school and New York, and I miss my friends and family. The current challenge is to invest my focus and energy here, and not get caught up in the romanticism of where I’m not. The challenge, as our teachers say, is to mobilize our will. As Vlad tells us: we need to mobilize our will to be lighter, easier, higher, and funnier. The sky is more interesting than the ground. It is better to fly.
Check back next week...hoping to keep track of everything in the coming days.
‘Til then,
Z
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